Leaf
by the laughing hermit
Summary: The Santa Clause. Bernard has three very important women in his life, one: his boss. Two: his mother. And now Three: his wife. The tale of how his wife comes into his life and all the mayhem that comes of it. Better than it sounds. Please give it a shot.


First Santa Clause fic, please be gentle!

Bernard was pissed. He usually was, but today, it was really bad. The wrapping paper machine had broken, Judy was begging for a new oven, and Curtis was being Curtis. There's only so much an elf can take!

Then, a vortex opened. Bernard looked up.

"Oh great." He said forlornly as it dropped its contents right in his lap. It was, of course, a girl. An elf to be exact. Strangely though, it wasn't the usual tiny, childlike elf. She was almost fully grown.

"No! No, no, no, no! Why?" he asked, looking skyward.

Santa had run down the stairs from his office just in time to hear the Arch-Elf.

"What is going on? Who is she?" he asked, gesturing to the prone figure in Bernard's lap.

"She's, she's, I don't know who she is exactly," he said, putting a hand to his forehead, "but she's here for me." He said looking up somewhat sadly.

"What?" Santa asked. Mrs. Clause and Judy had now made it to the scene.

"Oh, Bernard. It's happened?"

"Yeah." He said without looking up.

"Come on, let's get her up." Judy said gently, taking control. Bernard got up and picked the unconscious girl up with him. Judy gently tugged his sleeve and he began to walk with her.

The Clauses started to protest, but a look from Judy stopped them. She was usually very gentle, but she seemed to know what to do in this situation, so they let her. She'd explain everything later over a cup of cocoa anyway.

**88888888888**

"Come on, Bernard. I can't carry you there." Judy said, tugging his sleeve harder.

He shook himself out of his revere.

"I'm sorry, Judy. This is just really hard. I didn't think it would happen so soon. And this is the worst possible season for it. They couldn't have waited until February?"

"Look, we just have to make do with what we have. I'm sure she'll understand. What is her name?"

"I have no idea. There aren't any identifying marks."

"Well, she has to be from the forest." Judy said reasonably.

"I know that much," Bernard said heatedly. "I'm not that blind."

"Sorry." She said delicately. After a pause she asked, "What are you going to do with her?"

"What do you think I'm going to do with her?" he snapped.

"I don't know," she said calmly, "that's why I'm asking."

"Sorry," he said, gently readjusting the girl in his arms, "I'm just tired."

"You're always tired this time of year, I'm used to it." She said with a smile.

"Thanks, cuz." He said, mimicking the human slang he had heard on TV.

They had reached his bedroom. Judy opened the door and allowed Bernard and his burden to pass through. He gently deposited the still sleeping girl on the bed.

"I'll stay with her." Judy announced.

"Why?" Bernard asked

"I don't want to have to explain the Santa and the Missus. You're on your own."

"Thanks, Judy. You're a real pal."

"You know it. Bye!" she said slamming the door in his face.

**8888888888**

Bernard knocked hesitantly.

"Come in!" boomed the great voice of Santa Clause.

"Hello, Santa," Bernard said, walking into the office. "I'm here to explain what happened."

"We're listening." Santa said, nodding to Mrs. Clause.

"Well…she's my wife."

**8888888888**

Leaf woke up tired. She slowly sat up, in a strange bed, in a strange room, with a strange little girl sitting next to her.

"Well, welcome back." The young girl said, "My name is Judy."

"Hello, Judy. What is a little girl like you doing here? Are you a servant of the master?"

"No." Judy said with a laugh. "To both. I am a full grown Christmas elf. And there is no master here. Our boss is Santa Clause."

"What about Bernard?" Leaf asked curiously

"What about him?" Judy asked

"What does he do?" she asked shyly

"He's the arch-elf. He's in charge of all of us, but he still has to answer to Santa." After an appropriate pause, she asked, "So, who are you?"

Leaf shot her a quick glance.

"I mean," Judy continued quickly, "I know why you're here, but I don't know your name or anything."

"Leaf, my name is Leaf." She whispered quietly. "I'm from the Fairyland Forest. My parents are farmers. Well, they were my parents."

"Why aren't they now?" Judy asked in her kind voice.

"Well, they had to sell me to help pay the rent-"

"Wait, so you're a slave?" Judy asked, horrified.

"Essentially. Bernard's mother, Lady Godvina, bought me, and sent me here as a gift. I now belong to Bernard."

**8888888888**

"So that's it. My crazy mother sent her here."

"Bernard, if your mother is fairy folk royalty, then why are you here? No offense meant." Mrs. Clause added hastily.

"None taken. I was a…side venture that my mother had with a Christmas elf. My father was killed in an accident involving a clown doll, a flying bicycle, and 3 pounds of fudge. They never told me how that went together. My mother got bored with me when she married her husband, and sent me to live with my Christmas relatives. Judy's father, my uncle, took me in."

"Judy's your cousin?" Santa asked incredulously

"You didn't see the resemblance?" Bernard asked, tilting his head

"Not really." Said Santa.

"Anyway, I wasn't really raised to be a part of that society. It's all backstabbing and lying and gossip. I _hate_ it. I know how to function, like what to do when my wife drops into my lap, but not much more than that. I refuse to live there. Speaking of my wife, I'd best go check on her before I have to do my rounds."

"Then go Bernard. We'll figure this out later." Said Santa with a kind smile.

"Thank you sir, ma'am." He said nodding to Mrs. Clause as well.

**8888888888**

Bernard went to his room to find the door cracked open. He listened to the conversation.

"He's very nice. A bit short, but you'll get used to it. Don't take anything he says to heart." The first voice, Judy, said.

"I'll remember that." Said a second, much quieter voice.

He steeled himself. It was time to meet his wife.

**_So, was it horrendous? Please be patient, it will get better._**

**_Hermit_**


End file.
